Cool Quotes & Sayings

"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance." - Plato (427-347 B.C.)

"Plato was a bore." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." - Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy." - Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hemingway was a jerk." - Harold Robbins

"The cynics are right nine times out of ten." - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"I am become death, shatterer of worlds." - Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad Gita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion)

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research." - Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

Sanity is a madness put to good uses." - George Santayana (1863-1952)

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television." - Fred Allen (1894-1956)

"Men have become the tools of their tools." - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory." - Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." - Thomas Jones

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." - Al Capone (1899-1947)

"The gods too are fond of a joke." - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes." - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." - Gloria Leonard

"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man." - Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." - Robert Orben

"The covers of this book are too far apart." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them." - Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end." - Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung." - Voltaire (1694-1778)

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." - Mae West (1892-1980)

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

"No Sane man will dance." - Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

"Hell is a half-filled auditorium." - Robert Frost (1874-1963)

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." - Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite." - Paul Dirac (1902-1984)

"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them." - Samuel Palmer (1805-80)

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true." - James Branch Cabell

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - Voltaire (1694-1778)

"We have art to save ourselves from the truth." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad." - Salvador Dali (1904-1989)

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're headed." - Chinese proverb

"I'd rather let 5000 guilty men go free, than chase after them." - Chief Wiggums, The Simpsons

"The truly powerful do not proclaim themsleves, they are proclaimed by others. " - wisdom

Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change. - Confucius

Don't take life too serious. You'll never escape it alive anyway. - Elbert Hubbard

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream - Malcolm Muggeridge

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

"I think that technologies are morally neutral until we apply them. It's only when we use them for good or for evil that they become good or evil." - William Gibson

"Without order nothing can exist - without chaos nothing can evolve."

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." - John F. Kennedy

"The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind" - Freud

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."

"The cynics are right nine times out of ten." - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour, sit next to a pretty woman for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein

"Lincoln's Gettysburg address has 226 words, The Ten commandments has 296 words. The US dept. of agriculture's order setting the price of cabbage has 15,269 words" - Intelligence Advisor, 1993

"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other." - Eric Hoffer

"The early bird gets the worm. Yes this is true, but the early worm gets eaten." - Samantha

"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers." - T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)

"Criticism is prejudice made plausible." - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"It is better to be quotable than to be honest." - Tom Stoppard

"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting." - Karl Wallenda

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized." - Sun Tzu

"A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar." - Lao-Tzu (570?-490? BC)

" The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay

"Never mistake motion for action." - Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hell is paved with good samaritans." - William M. Holden

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Silence is argument carried out by other means." - Ernesto"Che"Guevara (1928-1967)

"Well done is better than well said." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"The average person thinks he isn't." - Father Larry Lorenzoni

"Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd." - William Congreve (1670-1729)

"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted." - Helen Rowland (1876-1950)

"Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century." - Perelman

"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready." - Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal." - Sigfried Hulzer

"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done." - Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943

"I think it would be a good idea." - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

"I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!" - Will Rogers (1879-1935)

"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" " - Will Rogers (1879-1935)

"The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy." - Von Clausewitz (1780-1831)

"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity." - Irving Kristol

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates (1955-), in 1981

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible." - A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" - H. M. Warner (1881-1958), founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." - Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood." - General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one." - Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." - last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins." - Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both." - Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince"

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep." - Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." - Yogi Berra

"There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole." - Bill Wulf

"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher." - Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I criticize by creation - not by finding fault." - Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

"Love is friendship set on fire." - Jeremy Taylor

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." - Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair

"My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate." - Unibomber Theodore Kaczynski, when asked in court what his current profession was

"Woman was God's second mistake." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong." - Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper

"For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing." - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.

"Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run." - Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

"He would make a lovely corpse." - Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"I worship the quicksand he walks in." - Art Buchwald

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds." - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned." - Paul Valery (1871-1945)

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction." - General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

"If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?" - Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing

"#3 pencils and quadrille pads." - Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer; he also recommended using the back side of the pages so that the lines were not so dominant.

"I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray." - Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when was informed that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.

"Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis." - Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.

"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need." - Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them." - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"The truth is more important than the facts." - Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing." - Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Many of these quotes are shamefully stolen from Professor Gabriel Robins and are copyrighted -


© Copyright Notice: the quotations collection on this Web page is copyright © 1994-2002 by Professor Gabriel Robins. Permission is hereby granted to anyone to make copies of this Web page, either in part or in its entirety, as long as (1) Professor Gabriel Robins is properly cited/credited as the creator of this quotations collection, and (2) this copyright notice is included in all copies made.

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